Paloma Negra

Paloma Negra

"Hay momentos en que quisiera mejor rajarme

Arrancarme ya los clavos de mi penar"

Paloma Negra --Tomaz Mendez Sosa

Espera, y sigue esperando que la paloma regrese. Clavos, invisibles pero presentes, atandola a la esperanza de su regreso. Intenta arrancar esos clavos que la mantienen atada, atada con esperanza y atada a el. Se arranca un clavo. Sangra. Se abre. La herida asusta, pero prefiere tener la herida temporariamente y con el tiempo sanar, que siempre estar atada.

Mascaras

Alma de Acero, Mi Alma de Acero

"Tu ya conoces mi vida
aveces me ando cayendo
y el orgullo me levanta
naci con alma de acero
y aunque deveras te quiero
te dejo que me abandones
nomas no llores si alguien te canta"
 -Jose Alfredo Jimenez

El escudo de acero, alma de acero, representa la 'mascara' que el mundo ve. Es una mascara que demuestra qualidades de alguien trabajador y persistente, perfecionista en todo sentido de la palabra, tambien perfecionando, con cada derrota al corazon, su abilidad de disimular los sentimientos, especialmente la tristesa y el dolor. Detras de esta alma de acero existe un corzaon adolorido, donde la sangre brota. Intenta quitar el dolor, cortando la vena, la raiz de la tristesa. Solamente unos cuantos ven la realidad detras de esta alma de acero porque al reconoser, se "raja" enfrente a sus ojos, y eso nunco.

La cancion Alma de acero de Jose Alfredo Jimenez demuestra exactamento lo que estoy sintiendo y la forma en que me manejo. Aunque tenga derrota al corazon, y  "me ando cayendo" de tristesa, "el orgullo me levanta" por que no me rajo y seguire adelante. Es que "naci con alma de acero," y si, "aunque deveras te quiero, te dejo que me abandones," y bueno no te buscare, "nomas no llores si alguien te canta," porque yo seguire cantando. Esta alma de acero, mi mascara, es lo que me saca adelante.

 Naci con alma de acero y no me rajo! 

Alma de Acero (Estela Nunez version)- YouTube

Casa y Recuerdo

When I think of Casa y Recuerdo (especially when discussing the topic in the Spanish language), my thoughts turn to Mexico. My most treasured childhood recuerdos are associated with Mexico and the three day journey made each summer in our pick-up truck back to my parent’s pueblo in Jalisco, Mexico. A truck that became our home each summer. A home where we forcefully, all five of us had to interact with one another, something that was not very common on a day-to-day basis. The most meaningful childhood memories with my father are associated with this movable home. I became his copilot every time, huge map of Mexico in hand, guiding him down the different freeways in Mexico and ensuring he didn't fall asleep at night when everyone else in the car slept. In some sense, this pick-up truck holds more recuerdos with my father than any other item in my current parent's home.

During class, Tony brought up an interesting point. Those born in Mexico, return to their homeland. However, for me, I was born here, in San Francisco. Am I actually returning then? What does it mean to "return" to a place where, well your roots, customs and traditions lie, but not actual physical day-to-day home? This is the inner conflict that I've grown-up with, one that has became much more conflicting after studying abroad in Milan, Italy this past semester. Still have not come quite to terms with it, but nevertheless Mexico still represent home, to some extent, for me, especially for my childhood years. 

The border crossing at El Paso, Texas to Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua transitioned me to a whole new world filled with the tranquility of  la vida del campo, but exposed to the terror of consistently being searched and stopped by soldados Mexicanos searching for drugs. I knew our road trip was coming to an ended as la milpa del elote greeted us alongside of the huge metal milk-filled barrel right outside of our pueblo. Once in our pueblo, we were safe from soldados, and the terror, for the most part, vanished. 

Many childhood memories revolve around el elote, which is a heavily grown crop in my region, Los Altos de Jalisco, Mexico. El elote brings back childhood memories con mi abuelita que en paz descanse, of our many times desgranando masorcas de elote and feeding the chickens. As a four year old, that was what I always wanted to. El elote reminds me of the tatemas that my father would make with elotes from his brother's milpa. El elote, o mas bien, la milpa del elote that I found when I went for a run in the outskirts of Milan, Italy this past semester, gave me the sanity I needed after being homesick for a couple of weeks. 

Memories, many memories of  running through mi pueblo where the challenges of being raised in a Mexican home in an American society were left behind.   

Tierra y Corazon

Estacion San Juan de los Lagos, Jalisco, Mexico (Junio 2010)

Esta es mi tierra, la tierra a la cual espero regresar pronto.

Estacion San Juan de los Lagos, Jalisco, Mexico. 

La tierra que vistaba desde pequena, donde los dias eran eternos y las noches calorosas. Extrano la tranquilidad de este hogar, de esta tierra. La tranquilidad con la que la gente vive y con la que se disfruta la vida. Tranquilidad, espero algun dia regresar, o que tu regreses a mi. 

Hello everyone!

I'm Estefania Hernandez, currently a senior studying Business Administration and Disability Studies minor. I'm very excited to be taking this course and learning more about the music that I have performed since a young age!

Here is a bit about me:

I was born in San Francisco's Mission District and lived there until the age of 8 when my family moved to the East Bay Area. Both of my parents grew up in a small pueblo in Los Altos de Jalisco, Mexico (where tequila is produced), which I would visit on a yearly basis. I loved running around the pueblo, going to la tiendita de dulces to buy my Carlos X chocolate bar. Mexico was my second home.

Both of my parents immigrated to the US during their teenage years in search of el sueño americano. My father, a construction worker, and my mother, a stay-at-home mom. They raised me in what I believe to be a traditional Mexican household, regardless of the fact that it was the Bay Area and not Mexico. Mexican food, Mexican traditions and of course only Spanish at home.

Mariachi Juvenil Los Cachorros

At the age of 12, I joined my local church's mariachi group, Mariachi Juvenil Los Cachorros. They first taught me guitar and eventually I switched over to vihuela. I began learning mariachi church music and eventually transitioned into the traditional mariachi music that we sing in class!

End of year performance (Spring 2013)

Mariachi music is something I'm very passionate about and which I love dedicating my time to. Exactly a year ago, Victor Muratalla and I began UC Berkeley's current mariachi group, Mariachi Luz de Oro. We perform at school events, private events and through the streets of Berkeley on random days! We hope you enjoy mariachi music as much as we do!

Mariachi Luz de Oro and Ballet Folklorico Reflejos de Mexico